Blog owner's message - Comments will not be accepted...really, they won't!
Common sense is very important when it comes to how we interact with other people online. We really don't know who is on that other keyboard when we chat, blog, or post. Common sense should caution us to disclose personal information only to people we have good reason to trust (and even they could turn on you). This includes giving out real names, cities, telephone numbers, places of employment, children's names, and so forth.
There are exceptions, of course, when it comes to people who make a living online or whose online ventures contribute to their livelihoods. But by and large, in this day and time, it is not exactly prudent to "let it all hang out" online. While the vast majority of people wouldn't dream of stalking or harrassing people by following them from site to site, there are those who do. I've seen an example of that right here, unfortuately, though the person attempting to post that kind of comment has obligingly violated numerous guidelines on most attempts and most of that person's comments have been rejected.
To that commenter, I have a few things to say: First of all, I don't know anything about you that you haven't posted publicly in the many places on the web where you've gone telling people about the big, bad "new" blog where you've been so allegedly mistreated. However, the truth is, you use your real name on numerous sites, including this one, or so you proudly say when maligning people those of us who post pseudonymously (like a majority of bloggers and forum participants). I honestly don't know if it's your real name or not, and I don't care. You mention what state you live in sometimes when you're discussing things on various sites. In what I've read, I don't know what city you live in and don't have your address, nor do I care. I have no idea what your telephone number is, despite your false claim that I do. I truly couldn't care less what it is, because I wouldn't dream of calling you. Frankly, you're just not that important to me. Important as any child of God is, of course. But to me? Nothing beyond the love I have for any Christian brother or sister.
And finally, I'm simply not who your comments indicate you think I am, so your using of "Badge of Honor" to keep your grudge alive is only that much more ridiculous. I am not a terrorist, nor do I have any reason or desire to "destroy" you, despite your repeated false claims. If it scares you that people know your name, don't use your (supposedly) real name online. It's the only name you've used here, so if someone's going to address you or refer to you, it's all we've got. If it scares you that people know what state you live in, don't reveal that information. If you don't want people knowing exactly what you say about other people and sites, don't continue to post your judgments about them, sometimes years later, on other public venues. If you don't want to constantly fear that the person you've been maligning for years is finally getting even with you after all this time, whenever you think you recognize that person, then leave off referencing your disagreement when you go to sites that person doesn't even participate on. Or better yet, lay down that heavy grudge. It's highly unbecoming and it hurts other people, even if your forum friends won't tell you so.
Everyone, including individuals who have had comments rejected, is free to submit stories (via e-mail) and post comments that conform to the stated guidelines. Do not misrepresent me as "not letting you respond" because I'm "offended." This is not true. Follow the same guidelines as everyone else and don't try to use Badge of Honor for non-BOH communication, and your story and comments will be welcome. If I want to carry on off-BOH conversations with you, I will provide an appropriate means for that to happen.
To all "Badge" participants, including those whose comments are not published: I'm telling you here and now that you have nothing to fear from me except my rejecting your comments, editing your stories, or if you've been really outrageous, maybe a comment of my own like this. It's just words, and I'm saying them here and only here. I won't follow you around and tell everyone I meet what I think of you. I won't call you, visit you, e-mail you, post to your web site, fax you, message you, or put out a contract on you--honest! But there are some people on the web from whom you'd be very wise to protect your personal information. As the old sergeant told the shift in the opening scene of "Hill Street Blues," "Be careful out there."
Edited 8/1/06 - BP
Edited 8/4/06 - BP
Edited 8/5/06 - BP
Monday, July 31, 2006
Friday, July 28, 2006
Reposted: Welcome to "A Badge of Honor"!
This was the original home page text from the 4t.com site where "A Badge of Honor" started life. The story guidelines have been revised.
Are you a Christian? Do you visit so-called "Christian" websites and forums? And have you ever felt unwelcome because you held differing views from the prevailing "party line" on those sites?
How about this: Have you ever been banned, booted, kicked off, or otherwise ejected from such a "Christian" site, simply for expressing a point of view that didn't toe that party line? Or have you experienced blatantly inappropriate or unfair moderation, sanctions, or censorship at the hands of "authorities" on such sites?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you deserve a "Badge of Honor."
There are sites from which, quite honestly, it's a badge of honor to be banned! Christians need to know about the unchristlike behavior of the people who run the sites they frequent. There is a time and place for removing people who can't abide by the rules. But when abiding by the rules applies to some but not to others, or the "authorities" make up the rules as they go along so as to target certain members of their communities, that's wrong. That's not how mature Christians are supposed to behave.
HOW TO TELL YOUR BADGE OF HONOR STORY
You may tell your story in your own words. By submitting your story by e-mail to the postmaster at badgepostmaster@hotmail.com (edited 3/17/07 for change in contact e-mail address) for inclusion on "Badge of Honor," you agree to the following conditions:
1. The postmaster may edit your story for the following reasons:
a. Extreme length
Example: For the purposes of this blog, your story does not merit an online novel, no matter how badly you were treated. Please limit your story to approximately 3-5 paragraphs; shorter than that is fine, but longer stories may be either edited or returned to the writer for rework. (I may decide to post longer stories, at my sole discretion.)
b. Unacceptable language (obscenities and excessive profanity are not permitted)
Example: Even if you were subjected to filthy language by the villain of your story, it is not necessary to use that language in the telling of the story. Mild profanity is acceptable, at the sole discretion of the postmaster.
c. Spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors when excessive and distracting
Example: Some people are highly irritated by bad spelling, punctuation, and grammar and will not even read past the first couple of errors they see. What your spell checker doesn't catch, I will try to.
d. Personal information that could be used to identify or contact you or others, unless you state specifically that you wish to be contacted.
Example: Don't open yourself up to the offending site's loyal fans, or the villain him/herself, spamming you with hate mail or worse. And please, protect the identity of minors at ALL COST! If you WANT to be contacted, it is up to you to provide that contact information. This site is not responsible, however, for whatever contact you receive. Think carefully about this issue.
e. Slanderous or libelous comments that are clearly your opinion. You may name names and sites in your story. However, you are responsible for "sticking to the facts."
Example: If Joe Blow kicked you off of the "Christians 'R' Us" site, that is a fact. If you call Joe Blow an adulterous fool for having kicked you off, you have crossed the line and your story will be edited. Don't open yourself or others up for legal action! It's not worth it. Let the facts speak for themselves. And don't think it can't happen; it can and it does.
2. Your story remains your property. The postmaster will, upon your request, remove your story from the site in a timely manner.
3. You are on your honor as a Christian and a human being to be truthful and, if possible, gracious. This site is about telling the truth so that positive change can occur, not about exacting revenge against those who've wronged us. It is hoped that before you request that your story be posted, you've already taken reasonable steps to confront the wrongdoer directly.
4. You accept the postmaster's decisions concerning editing of your story. If you believe the facts of the story have been compromised through editing it, you are free to contact the postmaster to request that changes be made.
5. The postmaster reserves the right to NOT include your story if, in my sole opinion, it does not fit the parameters outlined above. For example, as devastating as it is when churches and individuals mistreat people, only stories about online sites/communities/groups will be included. If your story does not involve mistreatment by an online group and/or its representative(s), please do not request that it be posted.
See the previous blog entry for guidelines concerning comments to story entries.
Are you a Christian? Do you visit so-called "Christian" websites and forums? And have you ever felt unwelcome because you held differing views from the prevailing "party line" on those sites?
How about this: Have you ever been banned, booted, kicked off, or otherwise ejected from such a "Christian" site, simply for expressing a point of view that didn't toe that party line? Or have you experienced blatantly inappropriate or unfair moderation, sanctions, or censorship at the hands of "authorities" on such sites?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you deserve a "Badge of Honor."
There are sites from which, quite honestly, it's a badge of honor to be banned! Christians need to know about the unchristlike behavior of the people who run the sites they frequent. There is a time and place for removing people who can't abide by the rules. But when abiding by the rules applies to some but not to others, or the "authorities" make up the rules as they go along so as to target certain members of their communities, that's wrong. That's not how mature Christians are supposed to behave.
HOW TO TELL YOUR BADGE OF HONOR STORY
You may tell your story in your own words. By submitting your story by e-mail to the postmaster at badgepostmaster@hotmail.com (edited 3/17/07 for change in contact e-mail address) for inclusion on "Badge of Honor," you agree to the following conditions:
1. The postmaster may edit your story for the following reasons:
a. Extreme length
Example: For the purposes of this blog, your story does not merit an online novel, no matter how badly you were treated. Please limit your story to approximately 3-5 paragraphs; shorter than that is fine, but longer stories may be either edited or returned to the writer for rework. (I may decide to post longer stories, at my sole discretion.)
b. Unacceptable language (obscenities and excessive profanity are not permitted)
Example: Even if you were subjected to filthy language by the villain of your story, it is not necessary to use that language in the telling of the story. Mild profanity is acceptable, at the sole discretion of the postmaster.
c. Spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors when excessive and distracting
Example: Some people are highly irritated by bad spelling, punctuation, and grammar and will not even read past the first couple of errors they see. What your spell checker doesn't catch, I will try to.
d. Personal information that could be used to identify or contact you or others, unless you state specifically that you wish to be contacted.
Example: Don't open yourself up to the offending site's loyal fans, or the villain him/herself, spamming you with hate mail or worse. And please, protect the identity of minors at ALL COST! If you WANT to be contacted, it is up to you to provide that contact information. This site is not responsible, however, for whatever contact you receive. Think carefully about this issue.
e. Slanderous or libelous comments that are clearly your opinion. You may name names and sites in your story. However, you are responsible for "sticking to the facts."
Example: If Joe Blow kicked you off of the "Christians 'R' Us" site, that is a fact. If you call Joe Blow an adulterous fool for having kicked you off, you have crossed the line and your story will be edited. Don't open yourself or others up for legal action! It's not worth it. Let the facts speak for themselves. And don't think it can't happen; it can and it does.
2. Your story remains your property. The postmaster will, upon your request, remove your story from the site in a timely manner.
3. You are on your honor as a Christian and a human being to be truthful and, if possible, gracious. This site is about telling the truth so that positive change can occur, not about exacting revenge against those who've wronged us. It is hoped that before you request that your story be posted, you've already taken reasonable steps to confront the wrongdoer directly.
4. You accept the postmaster's decisions concerning editing of your story. If you believe the facts of the story have been compromised through editing it, you are free to contact the postmaster to request that changes be made.
5. The postmaster reserves the right to NOT include your story if, in my sole opinion, it does not fit the parameters outlined above. For example, as devastating as it is when churches and individuals mistreat people, only stories about online sites/communities/groups will be included. If your story does not involve mistreatment by an online group and/or its representative(s), please do not request that it be posted.
See the previous blog entry for guidelines concerning comments to story entries.
Attention, Commenters
Since "A Badge of Honor" started life last year as a website, the transition to a blog last month wasn't totally seamless. Comments weren't a part of the original design. Therefore, until people began posting comments (which weren't originally moderated), there wasn't a need for guidelines. Very obviously, now there is a need. So here they are:
1. Comments will be moderated. That is not negotiable. I am the moderator and blog owner. I'm human, just as you are, and I don't make a secret of my biases against systems that promote inequality and the people that advocate such systems. However, I will do my best to utilize guidelines 2 & 3 when deciding whether to publish or reject (Blogspot's terminology) your comments.
2. Comments which will be published include those which:
- Address what the story actually said, and which are framed respectfully.
- Engage the writer of that story in further discussion about the events described in the story
- Offer an alternative point of view in a constructive, respectful manner
3. Comments which will be rejected include those which:
- Do not address what the story actually said, and/or which are framed disrespectfully.
- Attempt to create a debate from the story (that's what forums are for) .
- Constitute only a message to another commenter (that's what e-mail is for)
- Constitute your own "Badge of Honor" story. Please follow the instructions for submitting your story so that it becomes a blog entry.
- Criticize the reason for this blog's existence, that existence itself, and/or those who tell their stories for having told them (find a blog or forum designed for that).
- Complain about my comment moderation, though if you ask me to reconsider something, I will take that request under advisement. I simply won't interrupt the comment flow with your request.
I have already rejected a couple of comments for one or more of these reasons and make no apology for doing so. It is possible that further comment and/or post removals will be made in the very near future.
Thank you for visiting "A Badge of Honor" and for abiding by these guidelines if you choose to comment on a story.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Let's clear up some misconceptions, shall we?
"A Badge of Honor" is a clearinghouse for people to tell their stories when they've been treated in an unchristlike manner by online Christian communities. They compose their stories themselves and submit them to the Postmaster for inclusion on "A Badge of Honor." The people who tell their stories are NOT the postmaster. I preserve their anonymity, as well as my own, unless they indicate they want personally-identifiable information to be posted. Read a ways down to find the parameters of story postings here.
I knew only one person who's submitted a story here, before he or she requested inclusion in "Badge." All others I've met when they e-mailed me. I did very limited "advertising" about the site when I first set it up at 4t.com (recently renovated and now in blog format) and people started sending me their stories. I've had to twist no one's arm, nor have I posted fake stories or composites. I don't do background checks on the people who send me their stories and I don't try to figure out their real-life identities. They're on their honor to tell the truth about what happened to them on the sites they write about. With all the nut cases hanging about the web and with the way some of them have been treated, no one ought to blame them for a desire to remain anonymous online.
As for thinking I'm some person or other: As most people who frequent the web are aware, people link to other people's sites all the time. An example is Metacrock, who blogs at Metacrock's Blog, and who visited "A Badge of Honor." Metacrock blogged an entry and linked to "Badge." Metacrock is in no way responsible for the content or scope of "A Badge of Honor." Metacrock is not the Badge Postmaster, nor (I suspect) would he wish to be. So...if you have a gripe with Badge, my e-mail addy is clearly posted all over here. In case you missed it, it's badgepostmaster.hotmail.com (edited 3/17/07 to reflect current e-mail contact). If you want to get in touch with Metacrock, you'll need to contact him yourself; I don't take messages. Who knows? He might even be glad to hear from you. Just don't insult him by confusing him with me. And I've never been a part of the CCC community, nor have I any wish to be. I do read their public archives, and that's the reason why I've never desired to be counted in their number.
So Mike, though I'm in no way upset to have been mistaken for Metacrock, I'm surprised that you made the mistake. He never called himself the Postmaster, we have totally different writing styles, and he has a different Blogger ID than I do (which showed when he commented on "Badge"). You might even want to find out if there's a reason for why he does what you were so quick to ridicule. Were he your brother (as indeed he is in the Lord), maybe you'd think twice before judging him as you have. Do you want people making nasty comments about your spelling and grammar? It could be done, and it might only be carelessness on your part.
Think whatever you like about "Badge." Post whatever you wish, truth or lie, on your sites. But for the sake of your own witness and everyone's well-being, the truth is much preferable!
I knew only one person who's submitted a story here, before he or she requested inclusion in "Badge." All others I've met when they e-mailed me. I did very limited "advertising" about the site when I first set it up at 4t.com (recently renovated and now in blog format) and people started sending me their stories. I've had to twist no one's arm, nor have I posted fake stories or composites. I don't do background checks on the people who send me their stories and I don't try to figure out their real-life identities. They're on their honor to tell the truth about what happened to them on the sites they write about. With all the nut cases hanging about the web and with the way some of them have been treated, no one ought to blame them for a desire to remain anonymous online.
As for thinking I'm some person or other: As most people who frequent the web are aware, people link to other people's sites all the time. An example is Metacrock, who blogs at Metacrock's Blog, and who visited "A Badge of Honor." Metacrock blogged an entry and linked to "Badge." Metacrock is in no way responsible for the content or scope of "A Badge of Honor." Metacrock is not the Badge Postmaster, nor (I suspect) would he wish to be. So...if you have a gripe with Badge, my e-mail addy is clearly posted all over here. In case you missed it, it's badgepostmaster.hotmail.com (edited 3/17/07 to reflect current e-mail contact). If you want to get in touch with Metacrock, you'll need to contact him yourself; I don't take messages. Who knows? He might even be glad to hear from you. Just don't insult him by confusing him with me. And I've never been a part of the CCC community, nor have I any wish to be. I do read their public archives, and that's the reason why I've never desired to be counted in their number.
So Mike, though I'm in no way upset to have been mistaken for Metacrock, I'm surprised that you made the mistake. He never called himself the Postmaster, we have totally different writing styles, and he has a different Blogger ID than I do (which showed when he commented on "Badge"). You might even want to find out if there's a reason for why he does what you were so quick to ridicule. Were he your brother (as indeed he is in the Lord), maybe you'd think twice before judging him as you have. Do you want people making nasty comments about your spelling and grammar? It could be done, and it might only be carelessness on your part.
Think whatever you like about "Badge." Post whatever you wish, truth or lie, on your sites. But for the sake of your own witness and everyone's well-being, the truth is much preferable!
Change in Policy: Reader Comments
Good news and maybe-bad news.
1. Good news: Anyone may now post comments to this blog. This means you don't have to have a Blogger account.
2. Maybe-bad news: Comments are now going to be moderated, which means that I as the Postmaster will review every comment before it is made public. For most people, this is also good news. If you're here simply to derail things, please re-think and save us both some wasted keystrokes.
As always, if you wish to have your story included on "Badge of Honor," please e-mail me at badgepostmaster@hotmail.com (edited 3/17/07 to reflect change in contact e-mail address).. Stories merely "commented" will, in the future, be deleted. Besides, very few people will read your story if you have it as a comment on someone else's story post.
Thank you for your interest in "Badge of Honor"!
1. Good news: Anyone may now post comments to this blog. This means you don't have to have a Blogger account.
2. Maybe-bad news: Comments are now going to be moderated, which means that I as the Postmaster will review every comment before it is made public. For most people, this is also good news. If you're here simply to derail things, please re-think and save us both some wasted keystrokes.
As always, if you wish to have your story included on "Badge of Honor," please e-mail me at badgepostmaster@hotmail.com (edited 3/17/07 to reflect change in contact e-mail address).. Stories merely "commented" will, in the future, be deleted. Besides, very few people will read your story if you have it as a comment on someone else's story post.
Thank you for your interest in "Badge of Honor"!
Friday, July 21, 2006
G R's Story - CCC Forum
I spent about three weeks posting to the Complementarian Christian Coalition forum before I was banned from participation. I joined the forum with the idea that I would agree with the group on basic Christian doctrine, but would differ somewhat regarding the issue of gender roles. In fair play to the people on that forum, it is their group for the purpose of discussing their particular viewpoint. However, I stated outright when joining that I tend toward the egalitarian side of the debate, and they let me on.
Within a week, it became obvious that they consider even moderate egalitarians to be raving feminists, heretics and, in the case of one lady, communist sympathizers. Throughout the discussion, there were various comments about my ignorance and lack of theological knowledge. I was accused of twisting scripture, and twisting the statements of the forum members. I was told I was selfish and should take up pole dancing. Then someone said this to me:
“Indeed, to portray the values, virtues, and blessings of male headship and female submission to it as evils comes very close to what Jesus describedas the unpardonable sin: to credit to the devil what is, in fact, the work of the Holy Spirit. It is here where I warn you again that your soul is in peril of irrevocable damnation. For your own sake, back up and rethink things, if you are still able.”
I responded by telling him that Christ alone saves, and the work of salvation is not dependent on a belief in female submission or male headship. He reiterated: “I merely affirmed that male headship is part of salvation, the gospel, the works.” There were a number of attempts by others to explain his statements, and accuse me of intentionally misinterpreting what he meant by it. Pretty soon thereafter, my posting privileges were cut off. Several people continued to post comments to and about me after they knew I was unable to respond, which is really one of the shabbiest things people can do on any kind of forum.
Do I regret my experience on the CCC forum? No. It was instructive in the same sense that discovering termites have eaten the foundation of your home is instructive. I needed a hammer-to-the-frontal-lobe type of discussion to alert me to the reasons that the comp/egal debate is so bitter. However, please be warned that the CCC forum may (and probably will) chew you up and spit you out like a cheap toothpick if you disagree with their views.
Postmaster's Note: I observed this story as it unfolded--no, I'm not G R--and in my opinion, G R is being far more charitable about what happened than the CCC members deserve. That is one toxic community! (shudder) The head moderator there, who made the decision to "ban" G R, is Michael McMillan. He engages in and tolerates the outrageous sarcasm and denigration of people he has removed from the "community." And G R was not exaggerating about the woman who accuses egalitarians of being communists. She's done that in several venues that I've read. Most troubling about this story, besides what happend to G R personally, is that the "If you think patriarchy is evil, your soul is in peril" gent is a newly-minted Anglican priest in Waxahachie, Texas. His name is William Mouser and he's the brains behind some of the most restrictive and outrageously extrabiblical of the "gender role" publications and seminars being spread around out there. If too many so-called complementarians start believing what Scripture says about equality in Jesus Christ, he stands to lose money. Steer clear of this guy. He's very, very nasty to egalitarian Christians. Up to and including threatening lawsuits of one egalitarian forum's moderators because a couple of participants criticized him harshly for his untruthful statements about biblical equality in his upcoming book. I may create a separate story about that in the near future.
8/14/06 - What's shameful, "Cai," is the fact that online venues such as yours treat people as they do. Hence this blog. CCC disgraces Christianity all the time, and you appear to approve. If you don't want the stories told, don't contribute to the events they describe. You might try reining in your friends when they engage in the kind of shameful behavior for which CCC is unfortunately notorious.
Within a week, it became obvious that they consider even moderate egalitarians to be raving feminists, heretics and, in the case of one lady, communist sympathizers. Throughout the discussion, there were various comments about my ignorance and lack of theological knowledge. I was accused of twisting scripture, and twisting the statements of the forum members. I was told I was selfish and should take up pole dancing. Then someone said this to me:
“Indeed, to portray the values, virtues, and blessings of male headship and female submission to it as evils comes very close to what Jesus describedas the unpardonable sin: to credit to the devil what is, in fact, the work of the Holy Spirit. It is here where I warn you again that your soul is in peril of irrevocable damnation. For your own sake, back up and rethink things, if you are still able.”
I responded by telling him that Christ alone saves, and the work of salvation is not dependent on a belief in female submission or male headship. He reiterated: “I merely affirmed that male headship is part of salvation, the gospel, the works.” There were a number of attempts by others to explain his statements, and accuse me of intentionally misinterpreting what he meant by it. Pretty soon thereafter, my posting privileges were cut off. Several people continued to post comments to and about me after they knew I was unable to respond, which is really one of the shabbiest things people can do on any kind of forum.
Do I regret my experience on the CCC forum? No. It was instructive in the same sense that discovering termites have eaten the foundation of your home is instructive. I needed a hammer-to-the-frontal-lobe type of discussion to alert me to the reasons that the comp/egal debate is so bitter. However, please be warned that the CCC forum may (and probably will) chew you up and spit you out like a cheap toothpick if you disagree with their views.
Postmaster's Note: I observed this story as it unfolded--no, I'm not G R--and in my opinion, G R is being far more charitable about what happened than the CCC members deserve. That is one toxic community! (shudder) The head moderator there, who made the decision to "ban" G R, is Michael McMillan. He engages in and tolerates the outrageous sarcasm and denigration of people he has removed from the "community." And G R was not exaggerating about the woman who accuses egalitarians of being communists. She's done that in several venues that I've read. Most troubling about this story, besides what happend to G R personally, is that the "If you think patriarchy is evil, your soul is in peril" gent is a newly-minted Anglican priest in Waxahachie, Texas. His name is William Mouser and he's the brains behind some of the most restrictive and outrageously extrabiblical of the "gender role" publications and seminars being spread around out there. If too many so-called complementarians start believing what Scripture says about equality in Jesus Christ, he stands to lose money. Steer clear of this guy. He's very, very nasty to egalitarian Christians. Up to and including threatening lawsuits of one egalitarian forum's moderators because a couple of participants criticized him harshly for his untruthful statements about biblical equality in his upcoming book. I may create a separate story about that in the near future.
8/14/06 - What's shameful, "Cai," is the fact that online venues such as yours treat people as they do. Hence this blog. CCC disgraces Christianity all the time, and you appear to approve. If you don't want the stories told, don't contribute to the events they describe. You might try reining in your friends when they engage in the kind of shameful behavior for which CCC is unfortunately notorious.
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